Goodbye Love
by CadleyLove
Summary: Regina embraces her true feelings for Emma, then makes a decision.


Regina sighed contentedly as she allowed herself to freely roam over Emma's sunlit body. She told the blonde it was merely a convenience to not kick her out at night, because she was "insufferable clumsy" and would surely wake Henry up in her uncivilized attempts to "slip out". When in reality, it was the only time Regina let herself experience her true feelings for Emma. Never did she imagine that she would, or even could, feel this way again. After Daniel, she had all but given up on the idea, which was reiterated in full force upon his Whale-induced return, until she, once again, gave something up to Emma Swan.

It started out as a fling. They both needed to blow off steam, and the pickings in Storybrook were less than slim, plus they both really couldn't deny that their endless fighting brought on some exceedingly tantalizing tension.

She wouldn't even deny that it was enjoyable, even more so than with Graham. As the old adage goes, nothing quite like a woman's touch. Though recently, things started to feel different. Their nights were no longer rushed, escalating into a quick release, awkward good nights, and falling asleep in silence. Now, they would find sitters for Henry, or encourage sleep over's at friends' house, just for the luxury of time. Foreplay had become something of an art, starting as early as 11am, getting more and more vivid until one of them gave in and set a date. Regina knew she was in trouble when she caught herself beginning to anticipate and smile at her phone singing out text notifications from Emma. Hell, she even tolerated Snow on the occasion that she had to drop Henry off with them.

She knew she was in trouble when they started to take their time. She discovered that Emma loved her collarbone. She found that she couldn't get enough of Emma's hip bone. As much as she greatly enjoyed it when they took their time, but she knew it had been a mistake. The moment she enjoyed evoking the sweetest of sounds from Emma, purely for the other woman's enjoyments, rather than her own was the beginning of her down fall. Once the fullness in her heart matched the fullness she felt when Emma was buried in her took her breath away, she knew she was lost. And the moment she looked Emma in the eyes, she allowed it to happen.

These mornings were the only time she really let herself embrace these emotions. She would lay on her side, her head propped up in her hand and watch as Emma slept, and the sun slowly rise across Emma's torso. She would chuckle at the predictable way Emma would always kick the covers down below her waist, so they would just rest, ever so temptingly at her hips. Like subconsciously Emma knew that Regina's favorite part of the morning was watching the reds and oranges dance across Emma's naked back. Every morning after, Regina would follow the same routine; her body instinctually waking up at 5:15am, she'd stare at Emma's sleeping face, tracing the contours with her eyes, watch as the sun rose, and as the sun reached Emma's golden curls, gently whisper "Good morning, Emma" as she retraced the same contours with her fingers, inevitably tucking a stray hair behind an ear.

This morning was no different, though she allowed the tears to fall; solidifying the decision that it would be their last. She was certain Emma wouldn't reciprocate any feelings if they came up, and God knows her wretched mother would spend eternity talking her out of them regardless. More than that, it was something she could not give over to Emma. She had sacrificed everything to this woman. Regardless of her feelings, she could never truly give her whole self to Emma. Despite smoothing bumpy roads, Henry was more Emma's than her's now, she had all but helped Emma break the curse; hell, Emma had essentially claimed Regina's body, but she couldn't give her heart. Though the organ may practically leap from her chest for the blonde, her brain would keep it deep within her, hardening it if that's what it came to; which she knew it would. She could feel it happening already.

A pitiful whine snapped Regina out of her thoughts and bringing her focus back to the woman in front of her, deciding to set the dark thoughts aside in order to enjoy their last moments together. She grinned broadly as she watched Emma's face crinkle, then attempt to burrow deeper into the pillow. Regina allowed herself a moment longer to enjoy Emma's standard motions of waking up, before settling her features back into her standard regal look.

"Hey," Emma mumbled through a sheepish smile and one cracked eye.

"Good morning, Miss Swan," Regina responded, grateful that the crack in her voice could be explained as sleep worn.

"You've already got me naked, Regina," Emma crooned, moving to rest between Regina's legs. "You can drop the 'Miss Swan' business."

"Whatever you say, dear," Regina mumbled, keeping her smile trained, and her eyes cast aside as Emma studied her face. "One of us needs to go get Henry, and I already braved your mother's presence once in the past 24 hours."

"Give me another hour, and I'll go get him," Emma whispered, her hands already grasping Regina's hips and her face buried in her neck.

"Well, I suppose," Regina quips, already intending to allow Emma her way the entire time, but she never grew tired of making Emma work for what she wants.

These are the moments Regina fully immersed herself in. Her mind had been made up the moment she woke up, but her ever rambling mind would not tarnish this last time with Emma. She felt every touch as if it were the first, and last, time another had touched her. She knew that the possibility existed. There was no denying that she loved Emma with all that she had, and she knew that she would never tell another soul, especially the one who brought them about. So instead, clinging Emma for as long as she could. She was glad they had the state of mind to have Emma's parents watch Henry, because her dark emotions, coupled with Emma's deep knowledge of every spot on Regina's body insured that silence would not be a possibility.

She rejoiced in the sweet ache spreading through her body as Emma worked her magic; making her back arch in a way no one ever could. She clung to Emma, one arm around her shoulder, the other gripping her thigh as her body moved of its own accord against Emma's. Once Emma pushed Regina as far as she could take her, she gently rested her cheek on Regina's chest, softly tracing tiny designs on her thigh, which was still tightly wrapped around her waist.

With finesse neither of them knew she had, Regina turned Emma to her back and tucked her unruly hair behind her ear, taking her in for the last time. Within a second, Regina's mouth was on Emma's, deciding that if this was their last time together, she would taste every inch of Emma. With every kiss, lick, and bite, Regina was forced to hold back tears, knowing full well that this would be her last chance at acknowledging that the skin at the edge of Emma's jaw tasted different than that at her collarbone; that skin between Emma's belly button and her covetous hip bone was the softest she has ever felt, despite the faint stretch marks; the evidence of her son alone causing a few tears to escape, nagging in her brain at how she expected to raise a child with this woman after all they had shared; another thought shoved to the dark recesses of her mind for another time. Regina greedily took in every part of Emma until she was practically pulled up by hair.

As she crawled up Emma's body, she could tell from the look in her eyes that she knew something was different this time. However, being of the same breed, Regina couldn't read the look in her eyes, but rather preferring to lie next to Emma, allowing her the odd chance to spoon against her back. As Emma curled around her, she burrowed into the pillow, feigning tiredness, but finally allowing the tears to fall. She took in every feeling and movement she could, from the sweeping motion of Emma's fingers on her forearm, to the nuzzling of her nose into her neck; Emma most likely trying to go back to sleep.

The obnoxious shrill of tweeting birds shook both women from their thoughts, and position.

"That'll be Snow," Emma groaned before placing a kiss between Regina's shoulder blades and getting up to retrieve it.

Regina quickly scrubbed her face while Emma was distracted, then turned and watched her moving around her room with a comfort that neither of them would have believed if you told them just two years earlier.

Emma didn't turn back to Regina until she was fully dressed and sat next to her as she tugged her socks and boots on. As she stood back up, she turned to Regina, seemingly studying her face, before grabbing it, and placing one last kiss on her lips; then heading to the bedroom door.

"I'll see ya later, Reg, yeah?" Regina allowed a small smile at the unwanted, but always offered nickname before returning a small nod.

"Goodbye, Emma," Though Emma halted momentarily at the finality of the tone, she offered a similar nod before shutting the door.

Regina sat stock-still, listening as Emma moved through the halls to the foyer, hearing the front door close and finally, the bug start up, and eventually drive off. Once the rumble of the old engine was all but gone, Regina curled in on herself, releasing all the sorrow she had kept balled up. Pain she hadn't felt since Daniel, burst forth from her in deep, anguished cries. An instant later, Regina sat up, wiped her face, and with all that her mother instilled in her, blocked her heart off to love. For Good.


End file.
